"Don't Shoot...She's just Hungry!!"

I know I'm not the only woman or person for that matter that turns into a complete monster when they are hungry. I have always recognized that I tend to get a little agitated when I am hungry but today I realized that there is a monster living inside me.

I started my day off late so I didn’t have enough time to get my coffee, knowing that I am nonfunctional without it I asked My fiancé to drop a cup off to me after he took the baby to daycare. He arrived at my job a little bit before 9. I run downstairs, grab my coffee and run back up just in time for my 9 o’clock meeting. Just as the meeting gets good and boring I pop open the lid of my coffee. The voices in the room slowly start to fade out and were replaced with the rising sounds of hymns from the heavens; I could see an angelic glow surrounding my cup of coffee as I drew it closer and closer to my lips. I closed my eyes and took one huge sip of heaven. Right after I swallowed the heavenly sounds came to a screeching halt and the voices of the various people shouting over one another all trying to be heard at once returned. I frowned my face up, sniffed my coffee, and started smacking my lips. My coffee had a weird after taste; it was as if I'd swallowed all the change found in the bottom of my purse. I lifted my cup and began to examine it,  on the side of my cup next to the word Splenda the number 8 had been written. "SPLENDA?, I can't drink this!", I thought! I paused, remembering that I hadn't had breakfast and it is normally the large cup of coffee sitting in front of me that holds me over until lunch. So, I attempted to suck it up and drink my metal flavored coffee. I tilted my head back, filled my mouth with coffee, and went for it. I took two huge gulps and realized that I just can’t do it.
15 minutes later after being in a meeting where people might as well be speaking a foreign language I begin to realize that I’m REALLY frustrated and more importantly Im Hungry. This is the first time I've gone without the proper dose of coffee needed to subdue the monster that lays waiting inside me, and I'm beginning to fear for the safety of those around me! The meeting ends and I text my fiancé to ask if he'd make yet Another trip to my job to bring me a bagel because at his point its 11:00a, I'm starving, and it's getting harder to control this hungry beast. He says he’ll be here by 11:30 which is great and much appreciated but at this point I’m frustrated, irritable, and snappy. I try to continue to ignore the beast so I decide to focus my attention on getting some work done. Before I can even began my tasks I am asked to attend a 11:30am meeting that begins at 11:30.  The meeting I'm asked to attend has Nothing to do with my job but my presents is requested because of my "HR expertise." -_-  (Do you realize that your meeting  is coming between me and my food?!?) The monster started to surface. I said  “you want me to go to a meeting in 15 minutes?? What is this meeting about, do you need me to speak, do you have any materials for me to look over, and don’t you think this is kind of short notice?? I could tell by the person’s body language and facial expression that my tone was not the most welcoming but, in my defense I was not myself at the moment.

While in the meeting my fiancé texts me and says that he can’t find his wallet so he can’t bring my food. All I saw were the words Can't! Bring! Food! I Lost it! If you have ever watched a scene from twilight, underworld, or any other movie where a human transforms into a ware wolf then you can pretty much imagine what happened at that point. I felt the beast in me starting to come out; I had to leave the room. On my way to call my fiancé I felt the bones in my back breaking and shifting, my finger nails started popping off one by one and exposing sharp grey claws. Before I knew it I was climbing up walls, rushing through closed doors, pouncing on people, and growling loudly in their faces as spit came flying out of my mouth. I was viciously attacking innocent people in search of food.

“Oh God! Call security, CALL SECURITY. "Security, We need help on the 6th floor!  There is a beast in our break room, we think it’s one of our coworkers. She’s attacked quite a few people but right now she’s on top of the vending machine attempting to break it open.”

Security arrives with their guns drawn. At this point I have transformed back into human form and I am sitting on the vending machine, shoeless, clothes torn to shreds and a bag of chips in my left hand. One of the coworkers screams “Don’t shoot…She’s just hungry!!!"

This is pretty much what happened on my way to the break room to get a snack….more or less LOL. I feel much better now that I’ve eaten :D